While taking my usual lunch-hour walk I stopped for the red light at the junction along Maxwell Road right opposite Red Dot Museum. I vividly remember standing on the pavement. I place my feet on the burning stone from the mid-day scorch. I had floating thoughts here and there but one that stood out was recalling how shitty feelings dwell in my mind all the time. They end up leeching and staying, like shanty towns, growing, eventually becoming diseased. This ailing mind, I don't know what will become of it. I fear of it, like how the familiar 'something' closing around my throat chokes me, and the greater fear that it won't go away any time soon. Eventually I get suffocated. But I will still try to hold out for a little while longer anyway. The lights finally turn green. The cars come to a halt. I step onto the road. Then, I remember, I just have to trust that the lights will turn green.
I'm sorry to come back to this space with nothing less than my same old pessimism. I pulled myself through anxiety in February and March was painful. Brushing that aside, last weekend was nothing short of amazing. I'm so thankful/glad for Smita's invitation. The experience was truly one of a kind, right from getting there to ending it with a hour long shower that included 3 rounds of oil baths 2 rounds of complete soaping and still ending up with a forehead and chest stained pink. I went out the next morning with the pink forehead that refused to get concealed even with two layers of foundation.
The photos are not in chronological order and I will do something about that later.
Almost 3 weekends ago I attended my very first Malay wedding. It was, again, a really good time. I am so bad at describing things at 1230am but I will come back to this soon.
I have so much to say about these rays of sunshine. But for now, I'll just stick with thank you.
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