Eden

I just finished my x batch of kale chips. I've been having it everyday, it's becoming a thing.

Karee Kardashian came to see me after my sumo shift on Friday. I crashed myself into her arms the moment she came within eye range. It was all "!!!!!!!! CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES !!!!!!!!" feels. We sat over a drink for hours talking, everything felt so right again. Some friends are like old ghosts that will always come back and Karee is that kind of friend to me in every best way. I'm seeing her again next week and that makes me all smiley :)))))

There are friendships that fall apart for vague reasons, upon which only after a period of separation, neglect and solitude that you realise flaws of the other. Further rooted into the relationship is a hatred for something deep within one another, and many times that surfaces as something unexpected. Eventually they become people you actively keep out of your life, but I've learnt to accept that it's okay to want to cross these burnt bridges and continue missing them in your life. It's not so much of the constant ache but ironically, that seems like the closure wanting of both parties.

Whatsapp buzzing has kept my decently occupied these past few days. Though I say this with the greatest caution, but I'm glad I'm having a mimosa moment and am finally bringing myself out of my anxiety-driven rut. Time off school has removed the grazing pressure of being around too many humans and there's nothing left trampling over me. It's a huge gush of fresh air I'm enjoying very much. I've been speaking with the most intense openness about my ED and anxiety over the last few weeks, and while most of it is all gone now, what I have left is utmost gratitude for all the support that has been showered on me.

On Saturday I pulled Mum over to Living Cafe again. We ordered the specials and I typed this just so I could post a photo of my food. Food is magic.

I made the decision to skip my work get-together in the evening and attended granny's birthday dinner instead. My "late adolescence" phase of dislike has passed, and that seems only right. Our 2 small families had a wonderful time together despite the not so wonderful food, and later on in the evening we adjourned back home for a pretty fruitful breakdown of our September itinerary in London/Brighton. As per norm everyone had cakes and I had my hot water, it was some good hours of laughter and I was very happy. 

Roasted the best stuffed turkey roll I ever did on Sunday. I say this all the time but I feel happy when people feel happy eating food I make. It's extremely gratifying. 

I worked another shift on Monday before my driving lesson later in the afternoon, went to the hospital on Tuesday for my blood test and popped into the agent's office to do up my visa. Each time I receive an email about UK I tell myself "it gets more real by the minute". I can't remember what I did yesterday, I just checked my planner and it reads 'auto driving lesson x2'. It was a dissatisfying and forgettable experience, I very much prefer a manual system even though that puts down my chances of passing at first attempt by many levels. I still have so much of my teen-boy in me.