Monday, January 12, 2015


The uncertainty and anxiety I put myself through is something I like to resonate with myself on a day to (sometimes two) day basis. Knowing that no one but myself can pull me out of this wreck, yet there is something so routine about it that it feels like a part of me already. It's one of the things I want to move away from, to feel about necessary things and not worry about unnecessary things but a lot of times, internally I can't decide if what is adequate now may or may not be the same later on.

It's been a whole week since I've been back and I can almost be certain that I am settling back in both physically and mentally. My Mondays for this term actually start only at 4pm, which essentially means I have a long weekend in it's own way, but this afternoon I've got talks and meetings right up till my Math seminar starts so that's no fun. I'm so disrupted from my old timetable that I still can't figure out a gym schedule just yet either. I need to make the most out of my £160's worth.

I came here, actually to just log what I did during my first weekend back. On Saturday I spent the day with the Singaporeans, we went to Sushimania for lunch and only made it to Prime Leaders and realised that all the other letting agents had closed for the weekend so we did errands/groceries and came back to school instead. I had an apple for dinner and called it a night. On Sunday I spent the entire waking day on Skype with my parents and grandma who had came over, basically did work with Mum the entire time and had small talk in between. I used to hate any form of noise while working but that seems to be the only exception I make since being here. I bought a second hand bus ticket and went into town for dinner with Weng, Sharon, Clair and Jo. It wasn't what I was expecting, but I forgot that the whole town literally shuts down on Sundays. We stuffed ourselves in 45mins and went to Starbucks to sit instead after. So that was my weekend. Not a very ideal amount of studying and a satisfactory amount of social interaction.

Also, I want to start writing poetry again. 

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