Aphotic

Sipping on lemongrass tea. Telling myself 'you should be making something useful out of this afternoon'.

Am trying to update this space every couple of days about things I have done or thoughts I have thought. It seems more useful here than on Twitter because most of the time I try to condense everything into 140 characters and quite often I end up deleting the draft because I am bad at summarizing adequately. But writing is hard and sometimes I don't have anything to say. Most of my words have been washed out by the flood of emotions that come as quickly as they go. There is more to me than my trademark lunch boxes and 'exercise reputation' though.

Was looking at a couple of photos earlier. I am very much in favour of the B/W concept (of anything). There is ambivalence and to some extent there is romanticism and nostalgia ingrained. But in some way it releases the audience/viewer from the confusion that colour puts on the eye. It has it's own language and the way it has been stripped down to it's bare essentials speaks to me, to stop and look more deeply, to find meaning. I guess one becomes more observant when colour is lost, because all focus goes on details. Details, trivialities.

Last night I was talking to Tessa and that struck my questioning of the necessity of maintaining relationships with people. Quietly thought at the back of my head 'finally conversing with someone on the same wavelength'. Warm fuzzy tingles of emotions surged through me when I realized I am thoroughly blessed with a group of friends that understand me (and my lack of time for them) and are always there. I feel largely sorry for most part. Their presents are still sitting on my table too.

In the morning I covered a few chapters of Ishiguro's When We Were Orphans over a large box of chilled red beans. Took a train down to the clinic to get a prescription and an excuse from school. Bought some lettuce and carrots for fusion wraps tonight. Cleared the winter cupboard. Googled 'scrambled whites with soy milk' and am now feasting on that and a bowl of spinach. Dessert is a soy milk popsicle and 'Spongebob Houses'. Seems like a lot for one morning but I am enjoying (useless) productivity.