Oval

Some things I did today

Did my morning oats and took some pills
Made curried pumpkin soup from scratch, Mum said it was good, felt happy
Watched people move around 10 floors below me
Swimming and splashing
It was bright and sunny and I really wanted to be underwater
But I was upstairs with my soup and ginger tea and a cold
I wanted to exercise till I fainted
I thought about things
Felt very mixed but harmonized
Just like how my soup had spice well blended with sweetness and tartness from the surprise green apple that I caramalized with the onions
I am trying my best to see the good in everything
In anything
If at all

Can't decide if the the things I do are done out of a desire to make myself feel something
Or if they are done to make myself feel nothing
Either way
Seems like the conclusion is still the same
I sat at the balcony for some time during lunch
I was there until I forgot what I was trying to forget

Also started playing songs on my electone again
Sat at the stool for two full hours
Playing old tunes and putting out my favourite scores
It has been almost a year since I've stepped into class
What I played this afternoon was mostly via muscle memory
I didn't have to read the scores
It felt right
And it felt good
One part of 2009/2010 that I miss the most
Is having a group of friends sneaking to the baby grand at the back of the hall and play songs together till the bell rings

I made a playlist of my favourite songs I have learnt for the ~15 years I have learnt music

 

The afternoon passed quickly
Soon dinner came
We had more fish tonight
There were mushrooms too
Tomorrow morning I have a meeting at 9am
Don't feel very confident re getting up in time for it

Something about writing and music is that it is like poetry
Where
A poem begins as a lump in the throat
A sense of wrong
A homesickness
Some kind of sickness
It finds the thought
And the thought finds the words
Just as how the tune carries with emotions of the composer